Tomorrow, Walter and I are going to buy pear trees. We never heard back from our landscaper and because I can't wait any longer, we are just going to pick them out ourselves. I'd like to say we'll dig the hole and plant them as well but neither of us is the hole digging kind. I do want to be there when the holes are dug and the trees are planted. To me it seems kind of like a graveside service. I'll probably be standing all alone, watching them get placed in the ground. Im sure I'll cry and I might even fall to my knees and silently beg God to bring my babies back. I have a feeling that I'll stay there looking at my trees longer than I should.
As the expected due date for Benjamin grows near, I cant help but begin to wonder about him.
Would he have looked like his daddy?
Would he be easy going like his daddy?
Would he have been a good eater?
I hope he'd have been a good sleeper!
How much would he have weighed at birth?
According to the What to Expect When You Are Expecting website, I would be 32 weeks and a few days. He'd be 17-19 inches long and weigh 4.5 pounds. In less than 8 weeks, he could have almost doubled in weight and then get born into this world kicking and screaming and showing everyone who the new boss was. I know Walter would have cried when he saw him. I know I would too.
In less than 8 weeks, my dream of being a mother could have come true. Instead, that day will come and there will be no baby Benjamin. There will only by my empty arms, wrapped around myself, trying to keep me from falling apart. I already requested the day off from work. I'm hoping to spend the day underneath my pear trees.
When Sidney's due date comes around at the end of January, the weather might not be great but I own snow pants and a winter jacket. With a thermos of hot cocoa, I'm sure I'll be able to spend time with my babies once again.
As the expected due date for Benjamin grows near, I cant help but begin to wonder about him.
Would he have looked like his daddy?
Would he be easy going like his daddy?
Would he have been a good eater?
I hope he'd have been a good sleeper!
How much would he have weighed at birth?
According to the What to Expect When You Are Expecting website, I would be 32 weeks and a few days. He'd be 17-19 inches long and weigh 4.5 pounds. In less than 8 weeks, he could have almost doubled in weight and then get born into this world kicking and screaming and showing everyone who the new boss was. I know Walter would have cried when he saw him. I know I would too.
In less than 8 weeks, my dream of being a mother could have come true. Instead, that day will come and there will be no baby Benjamin. There will only by my empty arms, wrapped around myself, trying to keep me from falling apart. I already requested the day off from work. I'm hoping to spend the day underneath my pear trees.
When Sidney's due date comes around at the end of January, the weather might not be great but I own snow pants and a winter jacket. With a thermos of hot cocoa, I'm sure I'll be able to spend time with my babies once again.
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