Never in our Hands, Forever in our Hearts

As you have all read in my last few blogs, I have been doing a lot of talking about babies. Mostly about other people's babies but more recently about our decision to try to have a baby of our own.The journey that led us to make this decision and to finally share this decision with others, has not been an easy one.

I have decided to share parts of this journey with those that read my blog for two reasons. The first being that I am terrible at keeping secrets. The second is because I am feeling alone and burdened by not being able to talk about it. I don't expect anyone to understand how I feel or what its like to be me. I don't expect to feel unburdened or less lonely just because I have shared it. What I do expect, is that I will no longer have to pretend. I expect to be able to be me, completely and totally me, with those that I spend time with.

I have debated about making several posts about this to really tell the story but have decided that at this point, the past is in the past and a long drawn out story isn't going to change anything. That said, I have been writing the story, more for myself than anything. Here is the link for the blog for anyone that wants to read the whole story. That said, its not completely written so be patient with me.

For those of you that think you know the story, please accept my apology for never telling the whole truth. I thought I was making things easier for myself and now I realize I just made them harder. That said, there are no good words for today's confession. A picture is worth a thousand words.

This picture is of the sketches that were made for memorial stones. We still aren't sure if we'll have them done because they are a bit more expensive than we thought they'd be. However, there is one thing I do know for sure: I'll never get to hold either one of them in my hands, but they will forever be in my heart.