Renovating

I haven't written several weeks because there really hasn't been anything worth posting about. Last week I finally met with the surgeon. He told me that its too early to run any tests to see if I need an adjustment to my surgery. He gave me 2 prescriptions. One was for Robinul. The list of side effects is terrible. I experienced a good number of them: drowsiness, dizziness, dry mouth, mild weakness, headaches, trouble falling asleep and trouble staying asleep, as well as, basic dryness over my whole body. It keeps you from sweating or reduces sweating and makes your skin and hair dry. It even made my nasal passages dry. The thing is, it actually helped me to eat. I ate 3 small meals a day for 3 days in a row. It was good until it was really bad. I got to the point where my head hurt so bad I couldn't imagine eating. I felt sick to my stomach my head hurt so bad. I couldn't sleep and Tylenol only worked for 30-45 minutes and I couldn't have anymore for hours. I am not sure if the medicine gave me the headache or kept me from sleeping or both. I did some reading online and for some people the side effects went away after a few days and with other people they persisted. After a week, I decided that I'd rather not eat then to have my head hurt so much. I stopped taking it and it took me 2 more days for the symptoms to go away.

Today is the first day I have been completely symptom free and feeling good. I keep contemplating trying the other medication but it has a list of similar side effects. Plus, the other one is a liquid and probably tastes like crap. It smells weird. I can't even remember what its called and I am too tired to go to the other room to read the label.

The first day I took the meds, I was so happy to be able to eat and to have things go down so easily. It felt so good to be able to eat and not hurt or feel sick. It made me feel like things were finally going to be better for me. It made me have a little hope that maybe this wasn't how the rest of my life was going to be. I think its harder now than it was before because I had a glimpse of what life is supposed to be like.