Nothing is Ever Easy

Spotting for days and now pains too. Awesome. Not!

I knew that this wasn't going to be easy but I didn't quite expect it to be the emotional roller coaster that it is. Today is definitely a down day. I am going to apologize in advance to all of you that enjoy your weekends but I am going to pray that mine zips by so fast that I can't even remember it happened.

I need that ultrasound so bad. I need to know what is going on in there. Not knowing is almost killing me. Although if the news is bad, that will probably kill me for sure.

Trying to remind myself that lots of women go through this all the time and its no big deal. Its just hard to forget that these things normally end badly for me. Its starting to feel like the beginning of the end instead of the beginning of my miracle.

I keep rubbing my belly and telling our baby to settle down for the winter but it doesn't seem to be working.

All of this worry and emotional upset will be worth it when we get to hold our baby next year. All of this worry and emotional upset will be worth it when we get to hold our baby next year. All of this worry and emotional upset will be worth it when we get to hold our baby next year. All of this worry and emotional upset will be worth it when we get to hold our baby next year. All of this worry and emotional upset will be worth it when we get to hold our baby next year.

This is my new mantra.