Relationships are an ongoing effort. You can't just stop doing all the things your partner loves about you because your married. I think that in most relationships, people stop making the effort to do those loving things at some point. I don't think that anyone does this on purpose. I am not even sure people realize that its been forgotten until they are reminded.
Last weekend, Walter and I went to visit his Pepe. We've been making the effort to drive down to visit him on a weekly basis for the last several weeks. He always talks about how he will just be happy to make it to his 90th birthday. We hope and pray that he'll make it much longer than that but know that his birthday is his goal, we are spending as much time with him now in case that is all he gets.
That said, it seems like every time we visit, he tries to impart his greatest advice upon us. I love this. I love this more than words could ever express. It doesn't even matter that its mostly the same advice over and over. The fact that he keeps repeating it makes me see just how important it is to him that we know.
Last week when we visited it was just us, no other visitors. Walter, Pepe and I just sat and talked for several hours. No matter what we talked about, he just kept coming back around to the same piece of advice. Every time he said it, his eyes would well up with tears and he'd look at me with pleading eyes, as if begging me to heed his words.
Save a little for the hard times but spend a little now and have some fun. You never know when your last day will be so stop saving for retirement and live for today. You can't take the money with you when you go so you might as well spend it now.
Regardless of how he said it, the message was the same. Live for today.
During most of the conversation, he seemed to be talking straight to me. At the time I felt like he needed to be talking to Walter. He worries so much about money and saving for retirement and all those things. I thought that this was message that he needed to hear more than I did.
When we left that day, My cheeks hurt from smiling so much. My heart ached at the thought of not having too many more days like that. Then I looked at Walter and realized that I had no idea how many more days I had with him either. As Pepe pointed out, I could get hit by a bus at any moment.
I decided that right then and there, I would start to try and live his advice. I would live each day like it was my last and stop worrying about the future so much. Of course, we can't just stop working and paying the bills, but we can make the best of the time we do have together.
Each day, when my Walter is off at work, I try and think of what I can do for him to make him smile when he gets home. I know that in the long run, he'd like for me to be at work while he is so that he can stop worrying about the money but, in the short run, I can clean the house and make him dinner. When we settle in to watch TV, I can rub his back or lotion his feet or just tell him a dozen times that I love him.
I may not have tomorrow, so I will show him my love every day...
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